


My Drinks Are Ever At Your Service

by queerlytired



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alive Hale Family, BECAUSE I'M ON A ROLL AND I WILL FIGHT ANYONE WHO GETS IN MY WAY, Bad Pick-Up Lines, Based on a Tumblr Post, Fluff, Kinda, M/M, Other, Pre-Slash, i mean i think?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-05
Updated: 2016-05-05
Packaged: 2018-06-06 14:47:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6758425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queerlytired/pseuds/queerlytired
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based somewhat on this tumblr post:</p><p>Guys.</p><p>My dudes.</p><p>You have no idea</p><p>how satisfying it is</p><p>to be the only girl at a table with five dudes</p><p>who are all hitting on the waitress</p><p>and you’re the one who gets her number</p><p>(but in reverse, of course.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Drinks Are Ever At Your Service

**Author's Note:**

> Except in reverse, of course.
> 
> Please tell me if I've forgotten or should add any other tags.
> 
> (Yep, the title's inspired by a Shakespeare quote, but in my defense it's almost one am, I'm supposed to be studying for exams, and I'm sleep deprived which makes me somewhat of a goof. So.)

Derek doesn’t understand _how_  he ended up in a gay bar filled to the brim with loud, chatty females, from underage girls to women who look so old they should be in the hospital. Derek’s about to drop dead, how are they even sitting _upright_?

Laura kicks his leg under the table from his left.

“Why are you wearing _heels?”_  He whispers furiously, subtly edging as far away from her as he could without alerting Cora on his right.

“They make my legs look good,” she says, glaring at the staff door. 

“Braeden’s not working today.”

Laura whips her head around - also hitting him in the face with her hair - to give him a wide eyed stare.

“ _Liar.”_

“She doesn’t work on weekends.”

Laura discreetly kicks her heels off and pouts. “She won’t even _text_ me.”

“Maybe you finally scared her off,” Derek mutters, somewhat hopeful; Braeden’s always been a terrific friend and he’d been petrified when Laura started showing signs of interest. “Not like you’ve been _subtle_.”

“Who’s the newbie?”

Laura snaps her scathing retort back and whirls around to look at where Erica’s pointing.

“That’s Stiles,” Isaac says flatly, giving them expectant looks, “Started last week.”

Derek looks across the bar. When he recognizes the boy - or not really, he’s not a boy anymore, that’s for sure - he feels gutpunched because that’s _Stiles Stilinski._ The kid that was in Cora’s grade.

The same kid he’d spent his last year of highschool _pining_  over. Derek suddenly wants to stand behind Laura like when he did when she was still taller than him.

Cora raises an eyebrow. “Wasn’t he on the lacrosse team?”

“Send him over,” Laura says eagerly. Isaac seems a bit too relieved to go ask Stiles to change costumers, and Laura schools her face into something more charming as he comes over.

“What can I get you?”

Derek only realizes what he’s doing when he finishes measuring Stiles’ shoulders to hips ratio and has to force his gaze away.

Alicia beams brightly. “Isaac mentioned you played lacrosse?”

Stiles seems to backtrack.

“I did? I mean, yes, I-”

Erica leans closer to him. “You were in Mr. Harris’s class, right?” 

“I’m surprised you noticed.”

“With those shoulders, how could I _not_?”

Derek wonders whether or not anyone will notice if he slithers down his stool, under the counter, and makes a break for the exit. Cora, at least, takes pity on Stiles and orders her drink, causing the others to do the same. Stiles damn near _runs_  from them the second he’s done with them.

“I’m embarrassed I even know you guys,” Cora groans. Isaac gives them a disapproving look when he passes by and Erica sticks her tongue out at him.

“You got me a drink!” Alicia says gleefully when Stiles comes back to refill their glasses, “Can I buy you dinner?”

Stiles pauses.

“Thanks, but no thanks.”

“Boyd will _kill_  me,” Derek hisses. Alicia stabs a finger into his ribs, causing him to sit ramrod straight.

“If your lips taste like vodka, I wanna get drunk,” Laura drawls.

“I’d _mount_  and _dew_  you,” Erica adds, giggling helplessly. Stiles snorts in amusement and moves to refill other glasses. When Derek looks up again, Stiles is staring at him thoughtfully. 

“Have you ever stuck a hot dog through a doughnut?” Alicia asks with a lewd grin when Stiles comes back to them.

Stiles rolls his eyes this time and pulls out a pen, and for a moment Derek’s stunned because _did that just work?_

But then Stiles reaches across and pulls his - _Derek’s_  - hand and scrawls something on it. He nods once, looks Derek over, and goes to the other side of the bar to serve others. The girls are staring at Derek in shock. Alicia grabs his hand.

 _“’My shift’s over in half an hour, feel free to join me outside’,”_ she reads off his palm, “ _And_  he gave his number.”

“You’ve gotta be kidding,” Laura says disbelievingly, “Show me.”

Erica gives his hand a despairing look.

“You didn’t even _say_  anything to him!”

Derek’s too busy hiding his grin to reply.

**Author's Note:**

> [~tumblr~](http://okamiaki.tumblr.com)
> 
> I live off feedback.


End file.
